Sunday, August 21, 2016

Words… [Sticks and Stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me… or can they?]

Words can be so very powerful – they have the capacity to wound and the potential to heal.  Sometimes, we never really know the effect our words may have on someone.  We may say something unkind or insensitive and leave a scar that is carried for years.  I’m sure if we spent much time thinking on it, we could all recall a time in our lives – likely when we were young – that someone said something that hurt us deeply.  We may not even recall the exact words or phrases spoken, but we remember the hurt and the pain of those words today, years later. 

I was one of the weird kids in Junior high school in the late 70s.  I still wore knee socks with my homemade dresses and carried a Woody the Woodpecker tin lunchbox.  No one else in Middle School wore knee socks, homemade dresses or carried lunchboxes - the other kids let me know, too.  They said mean things, hurtful things about me and my parents, our income (or lack of it) etc.  They had no idea what they were talking about – they made gross assumptions and spoke cruel, wounding words out of ignorance.  It stung, too.  And it was confusing to me – it didn’t make any sense.  My dad had a strong business in a great part of town, we had a nice home and a couple of modest weekend places at both the lake and the coast.  My Mom made my clothes because she loves to sew and I loved for her to sew for me.  I was ashamed that these mean kids made me feel embarrassed because I wore homemade clothes – like that was a bad thing.  I didn’t understand, and I was miserable throughout most of Junior High.  Now I know that they were thoughtless, ignorant kids.  Yes – those are harsh words also, but the best ones I can think of to describe how they behaved.  I do not know how any of these kids turned out – I haven’t ever seen or spoken to any of them since graduating high school.  Luckily, I found other kids who were weird like me and made friends.  I learned to insulate myself from the mean kids.  I can only hope and pray that they learned the harsh, tactless and inappropriate ways they used their words and eventually became loving and considerate adults.

This time was so confusing for me (and when is Jr Hi NOT confusing?) because my Mom taught me, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  I couldn’t understand why everybody didn’t know that.  A few years ago, I came across 1st Peter 3:10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech." which is a restatement of Psalm 34:13, “keep your tongue from evil and your lips from telling lies.”  

There are many places in Scripture that caution us about our words.  I looked up “The Power of Words” on the internet and found a site that lists 100 different verses.  Here are a few of the top choices, in the ESV – English Standard Version text translation.
Ephesians 4:29 ESV - Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Matthew 12:36 ESV - I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak,
Proverbs 16:24 ESV - Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.
Matthew 12:37 ESV - For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Proverbs 15:1 ESV - A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 27:2 ESV - Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.
Proverbs 12:25 ESV - Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

We don’t always know the impact our words can have on others.  I doubt those mean kids at school realized the deep hurt they caused in my life.  But our words can also have a positive, empowering influence on our thoughts and actions.  Our attitude and manner can be encouraging, inspiring and nurturing.  We can say something in passing and have NO idea the full implication of those words.  But sometimes, we do realize – we find out what we said and when we said it and how it all turned out. 

A few weeks ago, our local quilting guild had our big bi-annual quilt show in downtown New Braunfels.  Leading up to the show, we had a quilt made and brought it around to various locations and other guilds to sell Donation Raffle Tickets and to promote and publicize the show.  In March, I brought the quilt up to Georgetown and had the opportunity to visit with the ladies of that guild and tell them about our show.  I met one lady in particular from Austin who was very nice and was interested in perhaps having a vendor booth at the show.  She also was thinking about making a quilt and entering it.   I said she should go for it – it was a few months until the entry deadline, and the work didn’t need to be completely finished until mid-July.  Well, come to find out, she did enter & finish the quilt, and it won Best Entry in the Theme category.  Yesterday at our Guild meeting and winners review, she commented about a “young” lady who came to Georgetown and was so enthusiastic that she decided she could and should get it done.  After her presentation, I thanked her for considering me to be “young”.  I barely remember the conversation – I always get fired up and enthusiastic talking about our show.  But for her to remember me – that my words inspired her to enter, and then she WON one of the bigger awards – that was extremely humbling.  And encouraging.  and humbling.  And after I read the verse before from Proverbs 27:2 ESV - Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.  – I considered not even including this story in this message. 

We all have the gift of language.  We all have the power to build up or tear down with our words.   If we were to read through all of the 100 scriptures about the Power of Words, we would find both encouragement to speak in love and chastising to consider what we say out of anger, jealousy, wickedness and even mischief.   We use words in times of Prayer, Appreciation, Greetings, in times of Anxiety, Sorrow, Worry or Fear.  We use our words to rile up or torment or to calm and soothe.  And when we don’t have the words ourselves, we can always turn to scripture – the Word of our Lord!  I have printed off a page of the verses that I found when I looked up “What does the Bible say about _____?”  There are many, many more, I promise.  I also found a couple of passages that sum up what I’m trying to say so much better than I ever could:
Colossians 3:12-17 - Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

I want to close with a passage from First Peter, but first - I have an assignment for you:  Find a blank notecard or a piece of writing paper, a pen and the list of Bible Verses found below.  Later today or tomorrow, as you reflect on these words, I’d like for you to think of something you’ve always wanted to say to someone – anyone you have encountered in your life – past or present.  It might even be a note to your past, present or future Self.  Take some time to write a note, choosing your words carefully.  It can be anything you want to write - a Thank you, Thinking about you, Miss you, Reconciliation, Forgiveness, Encouragement, Prayers, Psalms, Proverbs.  Or confront someone of how they hurt you and how you have forgiven them, or how you want to, but are not sure how.  Write from your heart – be open, honest and considerate.  When you are finished, close the note and let it rest.  Leave it be for some time and then come back to it and read through it and then pray over it.  While you’re praying, ask God what should you do next?  Should you file it away, never to been seen/read again? Should you send it to the person?  Should you rip it into tiny shreds?  That’s between you and God.  And as you encounter people in the coming days and weeks – remember this passage from First Peter chapter Four, beginning in verse 8:
1 Peter 4:8-11 NIV - Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. 10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever.  Amen.


1 Peter 3:8-10 Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, "Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech. "



Power of Words:
Ephesians 4:29 ESV - Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Matthew 12:36 NIV - But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.

Proverbs 16:24 ESV - Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.

Matthew 12:37 ESV - For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

Proverbs 15:1 ESV - A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 27:2 ESV - Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.

Proverbs 12:25 ESV - Anxiety in a man's heart weighs him down, but a good word makes him glad.

Encouragement:

Psalm 34:4 ESV - I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

Mark 11:24 ESV - Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Psalm 28:7 ESV - The Lord is my strength and my shield; in him my heart trusts, and I am helped; my heart exults, and with my song I give thanks to him.

Philippians 4:13 ESV - I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 - Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.

Ephesians 6:4 ESV - Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Encouraging:

Ephesians 4:29 ESV - Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV - And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Hospitality:

Hebrews 13:2 ESV - Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

3 John 1:5-8 ESV - Beloved, it is a faithful thing you do in all your efforts for these brothers, strangers as they are, who testified to your love before the church. You will do well to send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God. For they have gone out for the sake of the name, accepting nothing from the Gentiles. Therefore, we ought to support people like these, that we may be fellow workers for the truth.

Words:

Colossians 3:17 ESV - And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

More: 1 Peter 4:8-11 NIV and Colossians 3: 12-17 NIV


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